Hansbrough

If the Atlantic Coast Conference really wanted to show some class, it would have a Bard. I'm talking the original definition of the word, a person who travels around memorializing great people and great deeds with verse and song.

I've been writing sports for a daily newspaper since the fall of 1972, and if my public school education doesn't fail me that means I've been at it for going on 42 years. But I won't be writing for a daily newspaper forever. 

So when I'm done with that, I want to be a Bard. The ACC needs to hire me for the job. Once all the other conferences see how awesome it is to have a Bard, they're going to have to have one too. In time, it'll be a whole new industry. And the ACC can always say it had the first -- me.

Here's a sample of my credentials for consideration. Enjoy.